Saturday, July 4, 2009

The Zoology of the Order Beggar

Paris hosts many species of beggar under its canopy. Take the traveling metro minstrels. This fine breed plays music for you while you cruise on the underground river of railway. My personal favorite is the travelling Karaoke star, who croons hits from the 60’s. The rare but remarkable Kurt Cobain puppeteer deserves a mention as well. What it lacks in musical talent, it makes up for in indecency.

During your commute, you often find the stump speech giver. This species runs on a train, provides some oratory, and then ask for a donation for the cause. These former politicians and Enron executives have molted and are now righting society from the first floor.

There are the furry frienders that lure your sympathy with kittens, puppies, cats, and dogs. The distant cousins, the Stephen King creepies, try to lure you with a collection distressing trinkets. Doubts about this species survival are numerous.

Finally, we have the fishers. This species places a cup on a string tied to a stick. Each time a potential centime comes near, instead of luring it to their cup, they bring the cup to it. What fascinatingly evolved strategy!

The once flourishing pickpocket has now been nearly hunted to extinction. While this is good news indeed, there is always the danger of it adapting and re-emerging as a threat to the entire Paris ecosystem, especially the foreign tourist. Constant vigilance around the most precious habitats must be maintained.

While some may find the genus beggar distasteful, they do have a certain charm to others. Some beggars may have obnoxious adaptations, akin to skunks or slugs, but others have found ways to peacefully coexist with their hosts. Certainly, as long as the beggars maintain this harmony with their environment, they will endure.

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